Sunday: I arrived back in Kona.
Monday: I realized how many people are here.
Tuesday (today): I realized how many people aren’t here.
Monday: I realized how many people are here.
Tuesday (today): I realized how many people aren’t here.
When I say “people” I mean friends, acquaintances, people whom I love and all of that.
This morning I sprawled out on the couch looking out over Kailua Bay and blue horizons. However, I wasn’t the happiest camper in the world. I wanted to be running around my hometown with friends around my age who were on the same journey as me. Not sitting alone in my house, even though emotional and physical exhaustion did advise it. Not being the only one from my graduating class returning home after one year of university in Tauranga.
The temptation for me in transitions is to “do”. Where can I go, what can I do?! Everything has to happen at once, and my emotions go for a boat ride on tidal waters. No thank you. Not anymore. Through this year in New Zealand I painfully learned the vital necessity of just “being”. Taking rest. Recovering. Processing. Not overwhelming my heart with so many things at once.
I complained to God out loud on the couch about how it hurt to be far from friends who are still at college or on the opposite side of the world. But then… I realized I was grateful for arriving when I did. So I told Him that. This space of time before a handful of friends come back for Christmas break gives me a breather, a time to be and not rush around in the social life of a post-high-schooler. Well, I am going to a Makua Lani soccer game tomorrow but that’s another story. I just need to get used to being in the lovely and odd normal of Hawaii again, being with my father and mother, loving on purpose now.
But like Mel reminded me with a laugh tonight, I’ve only been back for two days. Shouldn’t freak out about finding and hanging out with everyone! Remember what I learned the week before I left Kona… oh, keep pursuing God and He will take care of the rest. He provided times for me to connect with people. He is a good, good Father. Amen. But most importantly… the point of simply “being” is this…
… to know God. Then we will love Him. And even when we come back to our hometowns only to face a new-found emptiness… we can be assured that He is the one that will NEVER leave nor forsake us, despite the natural comings and goings of this world.
He’s the one ALWAYS here. Oh, God. Thank you.
“Be still and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10
❉
Photo: Sparrow on the Kailua-Kona Pier (after jumping off it into the crystal-clear ocean with my friends); Jan. 2012
