Somehow I strayed away from just simply loving Jesus. Oh, the random saying “Oh I love you” and just giggling at the things he says to me, and just listening to him in general. For a few weeks, if I told him I loved him, it was just out of habit not out of heart. I came to him in quiet times because I had to just survive (happens in painful seasons of our lives). Which is alright, but when that then turns into a selfish routine… epic fail. Relationship is two-way. Instead it was “How can I fulfill my purpose for me today?”. I still talked to him heaps. My affections were just all over the place. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Where did the days go where I would ask with a smile “What will make you happy, Jesus?” Instead, I stressed about doing his will… then stressed about what I shouldn’t be doing… and not just sitting with him. Adoring him. Loving on him. That’s what we were made for, weren’t we?
“Be still and know that I am God.” The funny thing is that loving him is this crazy adventure. Sometimes we get it right. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we think we have it right, then we fall back into what we used to do. In my case, I forgot again to just simply love him. Be still. Remember he is God. Remember what he’s done for you. Oh, remembering warms my heart. Oh, do you know what he’s done for me??? SO MUCH. And I forget so often. I need to place what he has taught me on sticky notes all across my room (I use sticky notes a lot). Where were we? Oh yeah, crazy adventures. I guess sometimes we spend time with God and it’s like we are spending time with a dad, heart-warming with discipline and grace. Other times it’s like heart-melting affection complete with romantic songs and poems. Still other times, it’s like this crazy spirit dance party on the floor of your room. It’s the Trinity, simply put. Imagine that moment when all three are together. Woah. They must have some pretty awesome parties.
Total side note, I had some really good stir fry noodles tonight. I am spoiled by my boarding house mum. I also played soccer and God gave me grace because if not, I would have been so frustrated with that game. Then I also found out this crazy awesome connection between my parents and some of my new friends. The stars were heaps pretty, too. That’s a bit of an understatement, though. They were incredible. Who made those things?!
The cool thing is that Jesus was with me at every moment of this day. You should get to know him. He’s pretty awesome. I love him. Sometimes I think I know him really well. Other times I think I barely know this man. It’s a bit of both, I think. The knack is to remember that love is cultivated over time. And when you stop fighting for love you will slowly lose it. Don’t lose it. It’s all we have that matters.
